It's another 12th...

Two years ago today, David walked into my life. We celebrate that day today. I remember thinking, yeah, I'll see him, we'll hang out and maybe become friends. I wasn't going to let myself fall in love with him. My heart was shielded and protected, the last thing I wanted was to get hurt again. The best thing that happened to me, was that I fell in love with him.

The day was bright and golden, warm sunlight cast down and we just ended up spending the entire afternoon and most of the evening talking, catching up on our past but most important, talking about who we were at that very moment. We clicked that day and my heart that I'd protected for so many years felt safe; it felt love. It was probably just a few weeks later we professed our mutual love for each other but it was real, it is real, and it was right.

So, now here we are, eight months after our wedding day and two years after it all started. Our love has been romantic, exciting, glorious and blessed. I hope for many days like this to come. I pray we will always continue to grow and love one another. 

In the Heat With a Blue Jean Girl

David and I went out to our "second high school date" last Friday night.  (Our first one was going to the Horsemen/Demon football game last year.) Now, of course these dates came 20+ years after we were in high school and technically aren't "high school dates" but since we knew each other in high school, these are things we could have done on dates, if we'd actually gone out on a date. Sometimes, I still wonder what it would have been like if David and I had dated in high school. We talk about that from time to time, but I like our dates now. We have more money to do better and more exciting things. 

For my birthday, my beloved bought tickets to see Night Ranger, Foreigner and Journey. He totally caught me by surprise and thrilled me with the gift. Ever since I was a high school girl, I'd wanted to see Journey. It was my favorite band. I'd spend nights in my bedroom listening to "Escape" and "Frontiers" dreaming away to the music. As I grew up, my musical tastes changed, I grew more toward bands like The Cure, U2, the Goo Goo Dolls and other genres besides classic rock, but I always had a soft spot for my favorite band from high school.

For me life without music is pretty lonely. I'm not musical, you really don't want to hear me sing, especially in the shower, and I only sing at Mass, because it's Mass. Nonetheless, I can't live without music. It helps my mood, it helps me write, it centers me and can calm me down or can serve to help me release my stress, my anger or my negative emotions.

The concert was the best therapy and medicine I could have ever asked for right now. It brightened my week. I sang, I danced, I laughed and enjoyed every minute of it, with David by my side. I'm a lucky woman to have a husband who loves me so much. He's supportive and I can't imagine my life without him. We both had a great time. It was the perfect night for a show. It was cool, but not to chilly, the music was loud but not deafening. The bands sounded great. We heard all of Night Ranger's show but didn't get to our seats in time to see them on stage. Foreigner was great. I enjoyed their whole show and I loved Journey. (Maybe more on the shows later.) I really, really loved the concert. I was sad that our best man couldn't join us, but it was a blast going with David. I'm glad that we didn't miss it.


We had planned to stay with our friend, but he had to leave town to be with a sick relative.We debated on Friday if we were going to stay overnight or come back home. All the inexpensive hotels were booked-- it was also the start of Balloon Fiesta and so there wasn't a vacancy in any hotel near the airport. In the end, we got a hotel room at Hotel Parq Central . It was a lovely hotel, converted from an old hospital, which at one point had been a mental hospital. The owners are from Santa Fe, and I've known one of them for years. I had no idea he had gone onto develop this project. It is truly awesome, luxurious  hotel and worth every penny for the night we stayed there. It was the perfect getaway, at a time when we needed to get away. We checked in a couple of hours before the show and then came back to our room and slept like babies. We had a lovely breakfast the next morning and came home. I felt refreshed. We didn't make it to the 4th floor bar/restaurant, but we'll go back one of these days and enjoy lunch and look at the city of Albuquerque.

I really felt like that girl again--- the one who dreamt about going to the show,  quite possibly going out on her first date with her first boyfriend. Of course, I've grown and David is not my first boyfriend, nor was this my first date with a boyfriend, but it was a special night with my husband. I couldn't trade what I have now to go back to a time when I was young and naive and had no clue about life. And even if we could go back in time, so that David and I could date in high school, I don't think I'd want to, especially if that meant our present and future would be different. It might make for an interesting fictional story, but I'm not sure that I want to write it. I like the story David and I are writing together, now and each day forward. We have a few bumps in the road, a few challenges to face in the immediate future, but we're doing it together and we're going to be stronger in the end.

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night...

Life for the blissful newlyweds has been a bit rough but we're finding our way through this patch of darkness. On August 8th, I found out that I had a small breast tumor, which turned out to be cancerous, and needless to say, it took us both by surprise.

I'm on the mend after a lumpectomy, but it took a while to get here. We're now waiting to see what the further treatment will be. I'll have an idea tomorrow if it's just more than radiation. It's early stage, hasn't spread, it's very treatable and the tumor is out of me. Thank God. At this point now it's all about prevention of recurrence-- at least that's my understanding.

It's not what neither David nor I expected to deal with so early into our marriage, well to be honest, ever, but it's here and we have to do our best to get through it. We were hoping that we'd be seeing fertility doctors in our quest to start a family; not breast surgeons, oncologists and others to treat my early stage breast cancer.

I am going to admit right now that I'm a big baby about all this. My emotions are a wash of rage, sadness, hate, self-pity and even a bit of acceptance and peace. I'm doing my best to stay strong, hold onto my faith in myself, my faith in God and others who are entrusted to handle my medical care and treatment. I have faith in David. He's strong, but I know this isn't easy for him. David and I talk-- I hope we will always continue to talk-- but it's not easy sometimes. How can it be easy to watch the person you love struggle with something potentially life threatening and devastating?

Until we knew it hadn't spread or how bad it was, for nearly a week, I was sure I was going to die. I cried every day. Now, I believe that I'm going to be ok, but I think the fear of it coming back will always lurk somewhere deep down inside of me, no matter what treatment follows. The story of my first MRI is quite a drama. That will probably come another day with the rest of the early details of this tale of woe.

My faith in God wavers from the size of a mustard seed to something bigger. I'm shaky but I am doing my best to lean on Him, give Him my fears, anxieties and worries while I go through all this. I am not angry at God, but I do want to know why this happened to me. I wish I knew if I could have prevented it from happening and I do wish that I could return this unwanted, unwelcome gift. I cannot re-gift it or exchange it either. I hope in time I will know what it's purpose in my life is. Maybe it's a wake up call. The days are sweeter now. Life is precious and cannot be taken for granted.

Of course, there are good days, days when I'm feeling like I'm in limbo and days that everything is going so fast and I feel lost. Most days have been good, but the negative, scary thoughts manage to creep in and let in the darkness. I get sad all the time and I am grieving for so many things. I'm doing the best to hold onto my dreams because those are getting me through the worst of it.

I'm blessed to have David and my family. They've been there for me. David most of all. My parents are devastated and worried. It's really hard for me to be around my parents right now. I'm trying not to lean on them so much and I've taken out much of my frustration and anger out on them and I've put all my fears, worries and burdens onto David.

Still, anyone is a potential punching bag right now, but I'm actually doing my best to let out my anger, sadness and other emotions right now. I think it's better to let those things out than bottle them up.  Maybe that's why I'm writing out this post tonight.  Now if only my characters would talk to me, maybe I could start writing fiction again. That was always my biggest stress reliever.

This was supposed to be a post about other stuff going on in our lives, but right now, this is the biggest thing going on in our lives. And while things are a bit up in the air as far as what the next step treatment wise is, the surgery is over and now we'll see what's left tomorrow. I might have some difficult decisions to make, but I think with a lot of soul-searching, prayer and research, I'll make the right one. There might is still  hope that we can still have a child of our own and we can definitely adopt a child when all is said and done. I'm still looking to the future and going to keep fighting to kick this cancer's ass out of our lives because I've got dreams I'm living for. I just want it all to be ok so that in a few years we'll look back and this will be a distant memory.

The Twelth Comes Every Month

And we usually remember to acknowledge it. Many 12ths have gone by since I last posted an update. I can attest that married life suits me just fine, in fact I really enjoy being married and can't imagine my life any different.

I suppose like every marriage, ours isn't perfect but I think it's good. Like in every marriage, there are tests of faith, courage and love-- I think we got that early on (more later about that) but I think with everything we've faced so far, we're stronger.

As this is about all the 12ths... let me see if I can remember them since Feb. 12, 2011.

March 12, 2011 we were married for a month. June 12th was the anniversary of our engagement. It was the last time we went up to the Jemez before the Las Conchas Fire (oh my, it has a Wiki already) and after, we went just after our 6-month anniversary.

We pretty much got same treat we had on the day he proposed. I had a delicious eclair and a diet Coke, I think he had the same kind of danish and a grapefruit drink. I couldn't believe a year had gone by and that we'd been married four months. It seemed like a dream but I didn't have to pinch myself because it was very real and very wonderful.






 I declared David King David of the Rocks that day. Here he is on his throne.

I think it's a quite nice picture. It captures a nice memory for both of us.

Here we are feeling goofy and obviously enjoying the day. It was a beautiful day. 

That eclair was certainly tasty but the memory of the day and of our first four months of marriage even sweeter.

And I even have my own rock. Granted, it's not a throne. I still had fun.  Wish we could have taken it home.











I still hope to make the annual trek to Battleship Rock every year around the 12th.  When we returned mid-August, it was a difficult drive. What hadn't burned from the Cerro Grande Fire of 2000, burned in the Las Conchas Fire. The devastation was tragic and it was hard to believe how different the forest looked or how close it actually got to LANL. David was out of work for a week because of the fire. What was amazing was to see the Valles Caldera starting to green up and thrive.

The End

Diamonds are pretty but Emeralds Take My Breath Away

Saw on this blog an interesting tidbit about emerald rings.  I stumbled upon this blog while looking up information about a ring I saw at Tiffany and Co. online a years back. It was the "ring" I used as inspiration in my novel for my main character's engagement ring. I have a picture of it, but I couldn't recall the type of gemstone in the ring. It was an aquamarine now that I've done a bit of research.

That was for a story but for real life, I'm a more of a Green Kind of Girl and nothing is more treasured and precious to me than an emerald. I knew that if I ever got married, I'd want an emerald ring. I'm lucky I found a man who appreciated my love for this precious gemstone.

Wedding Planning 102

Now that it's all said and done for us, our Wedding Day was beautiful and truly incredible. It couldn't have been done without the help and support of our families, friends and the remarkable vendors and service providers that we found in Santa Fe. I was overjoyed to be able to support so many local businesses in planning our wedding.

First off, there could not have been a wedding (at least in our opinions) without our wonderful parish church, Santa Maria De La Paz and Father Adam to witness our sacrament. I know many people who have been reading our blog or attended our wedding are not religious or don't have a faith background, but have appreciated our wedding for what it was. I also know other couples, who are not religious have beautiful, spiritual and meaningful weddings in their own traditions and beliefs. I'm not demeaning that, but for David and me, part of what made our wedding day special was that it was sacramental in our shared Catholic faith. We have continued to grow and nurture each other in our faith and so, for us, we knew we had to have a wedding in our church. But the thought of stealing away to a fabulous getaway or destination for a wedding, is certainly romantic and appealing. Heck, we even joked about going to Vegas and getting married by Elvis. The latter we did not seriously intend, but it was fun teasing people that we were going to do it.

Honestly, I wonder what people thought our wedding would be like-- if it would be traditional or contemporary. If it would be in some beautiful New Mexican landmark or even a church? There are certainly some beautiful places to have a wedding here in New Mexico. We certainly went the traditional route, didn't we? It suited both David and me.

The Catch-All Post

Now that the wedding has come and gone, I'm not sure what will happen to this little blog we've put online. We've certainly had our fair share of attention and definitely have lived our Fifteen Minutes of Fame, (well, we still have to submit the Wedding Announcement) and it's been fun blogging about it. I honestly don't know if our "married life" will be anything to post about, but who knows, we might try to write about the funnier or more memorable moments of our first year together as a married couple. Who knows, maybe we'll be talking about the adventures of sprout-raising or house building. Those are our two big dreams right now. 

So, before this blog does go dark, here are the picture links. They'll stay up a while, but I don't guarantee that they'll be up too long.  

Some pre and post wedding pictures

Pictures from the Mass.

Bride and Groom pictures.Yep... more pictures of David and Maria hamming it up. 

Formal Portraits We didn't get all the Familia together but we did get a few formal shots with David, me and my parents, and cousin, Karina. And shots of David, me, his dad, sister and niece together. None with all of us together and none with Melissa's family and us.

Reception Pictures.  I started adding captions to them but there are a lot of pictures, so I’ll tackle them little by little till they’re all captioned.

And if you're not bored with us yet, the Highlights Video clip is here, just click the image to launch the player. You shouldn't have to download anything to watch it. 

I'm still happy that it's over but already want to relive the day.  At least I can with the photos and videos. Ah, now it’s off to tackle thank you notes.

Thank all of you for sharing in our day who could be there and thank you for your love, best wishes and support across the miles.