Our House is a Very Fine House

A little over a year ago a huge decision was made and it changed life as we know it. I don't think we really knew what to expect or how it would work out, but once the decision was made we couldn't and didn't turn back.















I'll start with the history. I honestly don't know how many generations my family goes back in New Mexico. On my dad's side, my ancestors arrived with Onate and on my mom's they arrive shortly after the reconquest of Santa Fe in 1692. I am not going to debate the politics or the defend the history of my ancestors in this post. It is what it is and so, given the 16 generations or so my family has been here, it's pretty clear I'm part of this place and its history. Santa Fe and much of New Mexico is known for its Tri-Cultural heritage where Native American, Spanish and Anglos have lived side by side for generations.


However, Santa Fe in the last 60-70 years has been changing. When my mom was a kid, it was still very much a small town, filled with local people and a lot of newcomers as well. As the years have gone by, property in the area where she grew up became very expensive and many of the local families have sold out to wealthier people coming in from out of state. Property taxes are at a premium and many of the local families who have been in their homes for generations or on their lands for 100s of years have sold out because they cannot afford to pay them. It is a huge loss for some of these old neighborhoods where you don't see any of the old faces, the stories are lost and you lose a sense of the history of the neighborhood. Now you see newly renovated historic homes often owned by part-time residents and newcomers and the old-time residents move elsewhere. I don't begrudge these new residents. Often they fix up old, decaying homes and bring them back to life, they contribute to the economy of this town by opening up businesses and employing locals, but sometimes they just don't fit it. That's not really part of this story either, however, this story fits into that part of Santa Fe.

We have an old home on Canyon Road. It's been in my mother's family for at least 150 years, if not more. The home is at least 200 years old, maybe more. It's shown on the "King's Map of 1912" which is kind of like the social registry of property in town, though, I suspect it's on older more historic maps of when New Mexico was part of Spain, then Mexico and finally a US territory and then state in 1912.

This home is highly valued on this street. It's part of my legacy and I'm very blessed that my father and mother have been excellent caretakers of this historic property. I'm fortunate that they have maintained ownership and it will one day be passed down to me.

This home, in which my mother was raised, later became apartments when my mom and the aunt who raised her moved into a brand-new house on Cerrillos Road. (It's next to Varela Real Estate.)

She moved back into the Canyon Road after she married my dad. I grew up there until I was 5. We had three apartment rentals here till 1988, when my dad retired and accepted an offer to lease out the whole house and turn it into a gallery.

 At the time, Canyon Road was booming, it was an art mecca, it still is, but I see signs that things are different as a result of the new economy,  new thriving art communities in the City and new ways of doing business. It's still a huge art community and many galleries are still thriving, opening and making a good living. Others have closed and are struggling to survive. That is what happened here. We had a tenant that was struggling, despite having amazing inventory, a beautiful and ideal location, it was getting harder and harder for him to stay afloat.


 A year ago, we made a decision that we felt was best for us. My mom, now a widow and struggling with a new diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis and continuing Age-Related Macular Degeneration, couldn't live alone, so we met with our tenants and after a contentious few meetings, we decided to terminate the lease so that we could occupy the house as a residence again.

We contacted a local contractor to see about renovating the house and by Thanksgiving the house was vacant and we now were starting a new chapter in our lives.

It took the tenants a while to close up and move. We had hoped to start work in the fall and be done by Christmas. Well, that didn't happen. The tenants vacated in November and we didn't want to go through renovations through the holidays or the winter so we decided to wait. But, we didn't want to have the house sit empty.






Meanwhile, with our pets, Iggy and Luna, David and I started hanging out in the empty house more and more. We'd bring furnishings that would make it comfortable for us for the short term, and little-by little we felt like this was home and made just about every excuse to check on it. We knew that we would be here as much as possible.

The energy felt right. Our cat, Luna Blue, ran from one end of the house to the other enjoying ever minute she was there. She felt at home right away. For a cat to settle into a new space like this was amazing. Our dog, Iggy, is happy no matter where he is if his people and his kitty are there. He, too, felt like this was home.

We purchased a bed and spent our first night here over Thanksgiving Weekend. Naturally, that got us excited for the holidays.

Christmastime in Santa Fe is always lovely; Christmastime on Canyon Road is gorgeous. We got to enjoy our first Christmas here.

We thought we would spend weekends here, as we only had a bed and a few pieces of furniture, but I think December 19th, 2014 was the last night we slept in our townhouse in Park Plazas.










We knew that we wanted to spend Christmas here and we started making plans to host a Christmas Eve open house for our friends and family who were participating in the Farolito Walk. We set up our tree here, instead of the other house, which still was our home, but in time, we knew it wouldn't be our "home." We had a lovely time, despite a blackout and the sea of people walking up and down our street. It was truly a sight to see.





And we've never looked back. Little by little we moved into the house. We applied for a loan to do the renovations and moved my mom in at the end of February.





And that is just the first chapter of this story. More to come. 

So Much to Say, So Much to Say.

Watch this spot. I shall be chronicling our renovation of our home on Canyon Road. I'll sum up with the story of how we got here and where we are going. But in the mean time, here's a photo.

Mammo Day...

Guh... a long over-due one.

I was explaining to a friend about why I was freaking out about today's boobie smash. I'm start to come to terms with the fact that I haven't dealt with any of it. I'm still stuck in Limbo and I'm still feeling lost.

This is what I told her, I hope she doesn't mind.


Thanks. I can use the prayers. I'm not going to fret about it or try to. I mean, if there is something there, we'll just deal with it. I'm just ready to move forward. I feel like I've been living in Limbo. As I was finishing up treatment, my dad got sick and died later that year. So, even though I got through that, the last year and a half since he died, I've completely just shut down. I mean, I'm ok.... but I've not dealt with any of it, my illness, his and his death. I need to let it go, so I hope and pray I don't have to deal with it again. It would really suck. Ack. I don't want to unload on you. But I'll be ok.

So,  that's where I am right now. I'm trying to keep my mind off the day and I hope it all goes well. I really want to put it behind me. I need to find someone to talk to as well. I have all things worries, fears and feelings that I need to express and I should find someone who has been there and can help me.

I'd like to be able to dream again. I want to find a way to have a family with David. I want to find our dream home, life a lifetime together and not live my life so anxious, so scared, so worried. I want to find my faith again. It's time to find my way back again to who I was before the Breast Cancer. I want to be more than the sum of my fears, worries and anxieties. I want to travel, be healthy, happy and live a long life.

And I pray that will be what comes next for me. So, if you read this, please do the same.

Introducing, Luna Blue...

Gosh, it's been quite some time since I've made a blog post. I go back and forth with deciding what blogs I'm going to keep up with, what I'm going to write about and if I can find some actual motivation to write again. I miss writing.

So... a lot has happened since my last post and not a lot at the same time. Don't quite feel like putting it all into words just yet, so in the meantime here's the latest news. We have a new furbaby.
David needs a cat. I'm allergic. We've been pondering a solution. We settled on a Russian Blue kitten, based upon some speculation that they are good for people with mild-to-moderate allergies. I don't know where my cat allergies fall onto the allergy spectrum. I've never had a cat and there have been cats that I've been ok around and others I can't be around. Luna seems to be one I'm ok with, but I worry too much. We're in the midst of Fall Allergy Hell and my allergies are flaring as it is, so bringing in a cat right now is huge wait and see.

However, I am in love with her. And she isn't going anywhere.

She is afraid of the dogs and they are curious about her. I hope we have a happy interspecies family soon though. I have high hopes it will all work out.

She is the smartest cat I've ever encountered. She's more beautiful than I ever expected and she's just really cool. Very smart, curious and fearless. She is a ball of energy and just precious.

UPDATE:

Luna Blue is amazing. She's best friends with Iggy. Since I posted this, we've lost Pepper to the Rainbow Bridge but they became friends as well. She loved jumping at his tail and he seemed to like her. They even snuggled together in bed. These are her kitten photos up through the most recent picture of her in her walking dress on the sofa. She travels with us, goes for walks, hangs out in the yard and fits well into our little family.

I Am Loved

I didn't link to the band's version , while it was cool, the imagery was a bit disturbing. 

I was sitting here tonight trying to journal, an upset stomach and a mild bit of anxiety about it, woke me. As I sat here at my desk listening to music, "Someday You Will Be Loved" played on iTunes and I had to write this entry. I hadn't heard it in a long time, but yes, it truly happened to me. I am loved.

This song came out at a time when my heart was broken and aching for someone I thought was meant to be more to me than he was. Now, of course, I realize that my heart was meant to be broken then, that I had to let go of a man not meant to be in my life so that I could be open and ready for the man who would be there for me wholly, fully and freely. Someone who could love me unconditionally. Of course, I did not know what "plans" lay ahead for me. I have all sorts of feelings about how we came to be together, but as I struggle with faith and belief, I'm not going to say more about that now.

When I felt my world had ended, that my heart would never heal the pain of being rejected, unwanted and unloved, I remember hearing this song and feeling some kind of peace wash over me. It was perfect and the lyrics paraphrased some of what was said to me as that relationship came to its end. I think it took about three years till the right man came into my life and I knew why I had to live through that heartache and pain, so that I could be ready for my heart to be full and loved by David.

David and I celebrated our second anniversary a few weeks ago. We didn't tell anyone where we went. We were at an "Undisclosed Location" so that we could have a quiet time, all alone. We hid out in Albuquerque. We stayed three nights at the Hotel Andaluz and it was a lovely getaway. We ate at Scalo on our anniversary and another night at Sadie's. I love the salsa, but the chile not so much. It reminds me of Tomasita's chile. We played tourist on the 13th. It was the 3rd month anniversary of my dad's death and we found ourselves at the San Felipe Church on Old Town Plaza. Our first morning we at breakfast at the Frontier, and then we drove around UNM. We couldn't help but be surprised by all the changes. The memories of Greek Life are still strong within us-- we never hung out in college-- even though we lived on the same street at the same time. But Greek Row has changed. So many houses torn down. We were looking to find the Kappa Sigma house, if there is one. The empty space that once was the Zeta house was sad.

We drove around a few neighborhoods we loved when we were in school. We shopped at ABQ Uptown and talked about maybe living in Albuquerque one day. We have so many balls in the air, so many hopes and dreams and plans.

We've gone through a lot in the first two years of marriage. I certainly don't want to have to look back and face what we've faced together already.  I really pray that it is far behind us. I pray we find a bit of peace this year and that our second year of marriage brings us some joy. Despite all that we've faced, we have always found a bit of sunshine peeking through the darkness. While some days the sun is dim, it is still there managing to shine for us. I hope no matter what roads we travel together in the future, we continue to be as strong as we are right now, that we love as deeply, if not more and that we travel the roads no matter how rocky or smooth together.

TODAY! TWO YEARS AGO

We got married and tied the knot, thereby promising to spend the rest of our lives together.  

It was a beautiful day.

A slide show of photographs of our house in Jemez Springs.